Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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