You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We have started to decorate penises.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
