So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
