Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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