I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
