Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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