Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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