hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
