But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
