i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The feeling are messing with the penis
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
