It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
