5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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