just come out here and I will go home with you...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
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I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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