you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
