people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
