I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
