After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
