my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
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