Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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