Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Hippo gnu deer
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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