he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
