hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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