im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
there is puke in my bra ... again
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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