yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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