i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
