Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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