dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
