He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
