This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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