I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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