I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
