Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Green mimosas i think yes
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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