I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
