1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
