your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
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You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
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I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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