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is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
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