Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?

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(407): is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town? http://tfl.nu/vkff

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(443): View more from Maryland

i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list

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(443): i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list http://tfl.nu/fyip

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(613): View more from Ontario

You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.

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(613): You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese. http://tfl.nu/lvqg

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(208): View more from Idaho

My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.

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(208): My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him. http://tfl.nu/oqtn

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(303): View more from Colorado

Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?

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(303): Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead? http://tfl.nu/o3ef

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.

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(701): Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives. http://tfl.nu/vpi4

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(254): View more from Texas

It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.

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(254): It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway. http://tfl.nu/k2oc

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(651): View more from Minnesota

If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.

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(651): If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches. http://tfl.nu/ldak

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative

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(603): No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative http://tfl.nu/aljj

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.

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(570): Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore. http://tfl.nu/xw8g

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(254): View more from Texas

Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."

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(254): Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen." http://tfl.nu/2yxx

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(416): View more from Toronto

I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.

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(416): I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle. http://tfl.nu/y28u

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(917): View more from New York City

KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.

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(917): KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP. http://tfl.nu/9fya

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(706): View more from Georgia

Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.

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(706): Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed. http://tfl.nu/1l89

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(425): View more from Washington

There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.

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(425): There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above. http://tfl.nu/ffte

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