why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
