Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
