Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
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and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
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Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize