school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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