At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
