Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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