Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
