You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
