i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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