Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize