and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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