11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize