I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
