she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
