the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
