I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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