I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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