Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
COCAINE IS GR8
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
