If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
