the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
