hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
that's an acceptable place to lick
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
