Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
