I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
