This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
