I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
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I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
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She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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