My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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