My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize