I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
