your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
