Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We got so high we made milksteak
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
That accounts for only three of the penises
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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