i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
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