ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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