those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
