The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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