I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
