you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
